


A Pat on your back

by Poutini



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Ass Play, M/M, Will apparently also write crack-like fic for poutine, Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 11:15:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30071433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poutini/pseuds/Poutini
Summary: Grandma Brewer started it.The leprechaun shaped card shed green sparkles on little Patrick’s hand as he removed it carefully from the envelope.  Inside was a crisp five-dollar bill, and a congratulatory note for having graduated from Junior Kindergarten.“You deserve a PAT on the back!” Marci read with great enthusiasm, her auburn curls bouncing as she giggled, soon joined by the laughter of the rest of the family, and a round of applause for their soon to be full-time Kindergarten student.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 15
Kudos: 129





	A Pat on your back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thescholasticskipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescholasticskipper/gifts).



Grandma Brewer started it.

The leprechaun shaped card shed green sparkles on little Patrick’s hand as he removed it carefully from the envelope. Inside was a crisp five-dollar bill, and a congratulatory note for having graduated from Junior Kindergarten. 

“You deserve a _PAT_ _on the back_!” Marci read with great enthusiasm, her auburn curls bouncing as she giggled, soon joined by the laughter of the rest of the family, and a round of applause for their soon to be full-time Kindergarten student. 

Uncle Sid _ran_ with it.

It _really_ didn’t help that Patrick was an overachiever from a very young age, providing many opportunities for Uncle Sid to break out the _PAT on the back_ joke, or to more subtly just sneak up behind Patrick and clap a hand on him between the shoulder blades and then wait. Wait, until Patrick acknowledged the _PAT on the back_ and Uncle Sid would move on. Uncle Sid even went so far as to have t-shirts made for the entire family with Patrick’s face on the back, to be worn at the West Canthor High Graduation Barbecue, because it takes a village to raise a child and the entire Brewer clan deserved a _PAT on the back._

Looking back, this corny, overused play on his name was probably why Patrick developed such an aversion to being called _Pat_ . He tolerated _Patty_ from some members of his family, thankful that neither _Patty Cakes_ nor _Patty Melt_ nor _Cow Patty_ ever stuck as nicknames, but he just really preferred _Patrick_ , and at any rate the way it sounds now coming from David Rose’s mouth is like the sweetest of songs. 

_Perhaps the most melodic of moans._

_The most wondrous of whimpers._

_Or the most glorious of groans_ , his name drawn out into six, slow syllables as he sinks glacially slow into his husband’s ass, having spent a solid fifteen minutes fingering him until he begged, and Patrick flipped him over and up onto all fours. 

Patrick grips David’s hips for leverage, pulling out slowly, leaving just the head of his cock inside his husband before thrusting back in as deep as he can, over and over. Patrick is a master of David’s body. He knows the angle and the pace that David likes. He also knows that if he gyrates his hips just a little to the left that - 

“Oh, fuck!” 

_There it is_. 

Patrick can feel the coil tightening in his abdomen, ready to spring. He lets go of David’s right hip, and leans forward to reach around and wrap his hand around David’s cock. He slows his thrusts, and instead focuses on small hip rolls as he slides his hand up and down on David. Years of study mean that Patrick also knows what _Patrick_ likes, and it’s the final slow build before being knocked off the cliff and into the pleasurable abyss by the muscular spasms in David’s ass when he comes. 

The squeeze on Patrick’s cock makes his vision white out briefly. As he gasps out David’s name, he collapses onto David, his chest pressed against David’s sweaty back. 

He knows they only have a brief moment before this position becomes all sorts of sticky and uncomfortable, but it’s so nice to be here, curled up on his husband’s back and -

 _Oh god_. It pops into Patrick’s head unbidden. He tries to stifle a giggle, but he can’t. It pops out as a guffaw, which makes it worse, as the giggle turns into a chortle which turns into a full on belly laugh as his softening cock slips out of his husband. 

“Um, what’s so funny?” David asks. Five years ago, Patrick knows David would be worried, but they’ve laughed plenty during sex at everything from trying new positions and toys, to bodily functions and sounds, or the accidental shuffle of _What’s New Pussycat_ by Tom Jones blaring from the speakers in the heat of the moment. 

Patrick exaggerates his position as he wraps himself over David’s body and presses a kiss between his shoulder blades. In between giggles, he manages to blurt “ _PAT ON YOUR BACK!”_ before dissolving into laughing so hard it starts to become difficult to breathe. 

David doesn’t respond, so Patrick tries again. 

“David!” he wheezes. “I’m giving you a _PAT ON YOUR BACK!”_ and it just gets funnier. 

David leans to one side, dumping Patrick onto the bed. He gets off the bed, and gives Patrick the side eye. “Mmmkay. You’re _not_ funny and we’re _not_ doing _PAT_ ,” he says with a straight face, turning on his heels to head to the bathroom. 

As soon as the door is closed, however, Patrick hears the laugh that David had successfully held back burst out of his chest before being drowned out by the sound of the shower. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes, you just need to write something _really_ silly. I hope this gave you a giggle!


End file.
